Movie Smack vs. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

The last phrase I remember sharing with a friend of mine after the film was “it felt like slow poison sucking out my soul.” This only describes half the pain I went through watching a George Clooney directorial special. Most pop culture fans would have appreciated scenes of Gene Gene the Dancing Machine, quotes from early tapings of the Dating Game, and of course, a look at the Unknown Comic. But none of those, clearly, could dull the torture of sitting through this almost 2 hour flick of the life of Chuck Barris, game show host and supposed CIA Agent.

‘Confessions of a Dangerous Mind’ is the movie version of the ‘unauthorized’ autobiography of Chuck Barris, famous game show creator, and relative unknown to the youth market of today. The cast is somewhat impressive, and tries desperately to help out friend Clooney who decides that ‘Solaris’ isn’t painful enough for us to watch. ‘Confessions’ twists and turns through a double plot of gimmicky game shows and speakeasy spies enlightening us on how truly horny Mr. Barris really was.

What I will give you is the story is interesting enough to make me want to by this washed up fro boy’s book. If the film recants the specifics of the autobiography, I’m ready to saddle up and learn me about some 60’s espionage in central Europe during the height of cold war. Yet, the intriguing Barris tale was marred by a slowly, poorly shot film.

Did you ever see a film student’s first homework project where he actually has to shoot a 30 second piece on something simple like someone answering a phone or taking a leak? If you have, and you, enjoyed it, you’d like this movie, too. Clooney in his years of infinite wisdom since his spectacular acting in Return of the Killer Tomatoes, decided to shoot his movie like a neophyte film student, using every different angle, technique and style known to man to try up the artistic ante on a film that has no chance of even being mentioned in a Bruce Vilanch joke at the Academy Awards.

Considering the multiple cameos from pretty much every Ocean’s 11 star and some pop culture icons, you may have a movie worthy of at least a drinking game. Yet, Clooney tries to pull in too much star power to a vehicle that moves slower than my one legged grandma after a helping of her special brownies. If you have a chance to see this film vs. ‘It’s a Guy Thing,’ then go out and rent the Ten Commandments.

- Doc Nutz