Autumn In New York

Or Two Geeks from Missouri in the Big City

By Rachel Gagnon and Katie Beeler

Day 1:

“START SPREADIN THE NEWWWWS….I’M LEAVIN TODAY….” we crooned to a plane full of pissy New Yorkers and fellow equally pissed KCOUers as our plane began descending into LaGuardia (though deep down I think they really enjoyed it). Frank Sinatra’s rendition of “New York, New York” was one of the many songs we included on our fantastic New York compilation cd made special for the trip. Not that we were obsessed with going to New York City or anything. Our first encounter with real New York life was getting a cab. We were fortunate enough to obtain a relatively normal cab driver, unlike our compatriots, Ross, Andrea, and Mark. A very short abrupt man approached our group and hustled them into his black car. Forty dollars and brush (or two) with death later, they arrived at the Manhattan Hilton with the rest of us. Never in our lives have we seen so many sweaters and black framed glasses as we did at indie-rock hotel that week. After regrouping, registering, and removing the guk from our bodies, we headed out to find the most important part of any day: FOOD. Did you know that you can’t have a hamburger for under 10 bucks in NYC? And that, by far, is the most normal food there is, and definitely the least expensive. So we finally found a place, Wolf’s Delicatessen, and had the most delicious meal ever. Either that or we were just insanely starving. So we still had a whole night in front of us, and all the shops in Midtown were closing so we decided to go to one of the main attractions of our entire trip: CBGB’s. Our Real New York Experience number two: almost getting mugged. As we rose out of the subway station onto Bleeker and Bowery streets, we saw what appeared to be a legless man in a wheel chair playing chicken with a street full of cabs. It was like he was taunting them by displaying he could go where they couldn’t. Across the street was a gang of creepy men who decided to follow us while making some sort of unintelligible noise. Running down Bowery, we couldn’t reach CBGB fast enough. Inside was like a heavily graffitied heaven. It was amaaazing. There wasn’t a square inch uncovered in marker or spray paint. One of the main goals of the trip was to see the men’s bathroom. After all, that is where Joey Ramone pooed oh so many times. Finally, a drunk boy agreed to bar the door as we ran inside, gazed at the gorgeous urinals and toilet seat situated on top of a platform with no stall. This must have been where all the magic took place. Our lives were then forever changed. Nothing could compare after that, so we went back to the hotel and ended our first day in New York City.

Day 2:

We took an expedition to Chinatown and Little Italy with the help of native New Yorker, Syd. You would not believe how many designer accessory knockoffs are accumulated on one street in Chinatown. It is like a cheapskates paradise. Four handbags, a scarf, and two watches later, we dined on a feast of really good really cheap Chinese food. After that, we went to Little Italy for dessert. There were so many Vito Corleone types running (or hobbling) around it was incredible. We tried chasing them down and tape-recording them, hoping we could catch them talking about their latest hit. More likely, they were probably talking about how insane people from the Midwest are. Our shopping escapades ended only for the Touch and Go showcase, featuring, Enon, Black Heart Procession (who came out in a horses head?), Blonde Redhead, Calexico, a band called “!!!” (the worst band EVER- they covered themselves in mirrors and fist pumped the air while humping the wall…), and fiiiiiinallly the Yeah Yeah Yeahs who were by FAR the highlight of the show for us. By the time all of that was over, it was definitely time for bed.

Day 3:

We made a pilgrimage to the legendary Chelsea Hotel. This is where so many talented artists have stayed before us, and the spot of the infamous Sid and Nancy murder. It was just like we imagined it would be, at least from the outside. When we asked if we could explore, all we got was a nasty glare, which we’re preeeeetty sure meant no. Still, our mere presence in such a fantastic place was enough. On to St. Marks, home of tattoo parlors, record stores, and porn-laden vintage clothing shops. Afterwards we headed to 5th Avenue and Tiffany’s where we picked out our 3 million dollar engagement rings. That night, we went to the H20 show at Hammerstein Ballroom. It was good, minus the hordes of middleschoolers who thought that they should be the 4th member of Blink182.

Day 4:

It was a day of putzing. Just like God, we needed a day of rest. The day was spent shopping and eating in the village mostly. That night we went to see Times Square and bought our roommate a souvenir: an amazing and informative pamphlet for one dollar that had every sex position that has ever existed…who wouldn’t want a present like that?? That night, we visited a friend at Columbia University and got to sneak (probably illegally) onto the top of one of the highest buildings on campus to see the city lights. After that we dined at the infamous Tom’s Restaurant, the one used in Seinfeld. (which really looked nothing like it does in Seinfeld.) Then, got on the subway, to go back to sleep. By the end of this trip we were complete and total pros at the subway. I’m sure we blended in perfectly with the other New Yorkers, minus the whole cameras and ooohing and ahhing thing.

Day 5:

The flight home, filled with sorrow and an overload of airplane Snyder’s pretzels. But deep down it was ok; we knew we’d be back someday soon.

- Rachel Gagnon & Katie Beeler